Have you seen 'SEEN the Film'?

Written by Tracey Farrell

Ever wondered how your own experiences shape the way you parent?

Last night I went to a screening of the new ParentTV documentary, ‘SEEN the Film’, hosted by St Joseph’s College, Echuca and it has me continuing to reflect on this question.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love a documentary for the role they can play in personal and professional development. Over the years, I’ve hosted local screenings of a range of child wellbeing focused documentaries, including ‘Screenagers’, ‘Resilience: the biology of stress and science of hope’, and ‘Broken Places’. ‘SEEN’ immediately stood out for its unique Australian perspective. It felt personal, relational and incredibly relevant.

To help our kids, we must first see ourselves
The premise is simple – that to help our kids, we must first see ourselves.

The film challenges the notion that we can “fix” children’s behaviour without acknowledging how our own unhealed wounds affect our parenting and ability to meet their emotional needs.

This is a paradigm shift that many of us who work in the children’s mental health sector have been working towards for many years and it’s thrilling to see it brought to life in such an accessible way.

The power of story telling
The documentary features four parents - Joe, Zidia, Anne and Terry -  following their journey from the wake-up call that led them to seek support through to the new ways they are now able to reconnect with their children and find joy.

They open up about their struggles and triumphs, offering raw and honest reflections on their parenting, as well as being parented. With real footage of their parenting in action, photographs of their younger selves and their children’s early years, as well as stylised reconstructions, you can’t help but be moved by the film.

For me, the most powerful moments came from hearing Joe William’s two eldest children speak their truth. Their courage to share their experience, as well as Joe’s openness and courage to hear them, left me in awe. It was an incredible act of generosity to share with us in this way. We must continue to encourage children and young people to feel seen and heard!
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Anne’s reckoning came through Circle of Security (the intensive version that uses video footage of parent child interactions) and it resonated deeply. Whilst I only have experience in delivering the Circle of Security parenting program, I know this material on our attachment needs and patterns finds a way to delve deep below the surface. It can be life changing for parents who are ready to find another way.

Reparenting to heal
While the parents shared plenty of nuggets of wisdom what struck me most was their vulnerability. We often talk about ‘teaching’ emotional literacy and self regulation, yet the real healing happens when parents face their own pain.

The brief discussion of reparenting – going back as adults to heal our younger selves – was spot on. This idea provides a tangible, hopeful pathway to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma. As Selena Bartlett shared, the neuroplasticity of our brains mean that it’s never too late to change.

Integrating our personal and professional selves
The film didn’t just feature parents – it also included six child experts who offered insights into children’s emotional needs. What resonated most was the integration of their personal experiences as parents alongside their professional knowledge. There is so much power in integrating the personal and professional, and it shows how the field is gradually embracing ‘use of self’ in healing relational practices.

Until Seen, I hadn’t come across Dr Billy Garvey, the developmental paediatrician featured in the film. I know I’ll now deep dive into his work - there was something about his approach that felt real and raw, and an incredibly refreshing departure from the usual medical model lens.

Let’s spread this message far and wide
Thanks to St Joe’s for recognising the importance of this film and hosting the first regional screening in Victoria. If you attended this screening, I’d love to hear what resonated for you? I know I saw some tears being wiped away, and some comments of ‘oof that was heavy’, as well as hearing how relatable the parents were, like Zidia trying to be fun by baking with her kids, only to get frustrated by the mess and them ‘getting it wrong’. I think we’ve all been there!

What’s next?
There are screenings happening in major cities over the coming weeks. You can check out what’s available here. I really hope other child and family services organisations will pick it up to spread the message widely. I also have fingers crossed that online screenings will happen soon.

The Seen team have also put together a range of resources, including a reflective parenting program and some animations explaining the main ideas of the film. You can find them here.

Becoming a parent opens up the opportunity to really understand ourselves too. If we want to help our kids, we’ve got to start by looking at our own stories. It’s messy, it’s tough, and it’s also incredibly freeing. So, what’s one small thing you can do today to be a little kinder to yourself as a parent? Let's keep this conversation going and support each other along the way.
 
Take care, Tracey

Watch the trailer